We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He felt like a one man threesome
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
