We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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