Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
