I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
