is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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