you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
