I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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