ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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