Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
where are you?
Hypothermia
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
