i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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