stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
