hell yes lets make some ravioli
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
vagina is talking i cant
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
