i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
