Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
