Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
