bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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