Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Boobs are out for the taking
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
