I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
