Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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