Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
