I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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