Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
