Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
