Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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