idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
