That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
