Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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