went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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