we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just want nice things and good sex
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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