Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
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