I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
