sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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