I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
