Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
