How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am mentally ready for anal.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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