My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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