The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
