you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
