do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
