you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
