Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
