did you get engaged???
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
