p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
