i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you told grandpa to call you daddy
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
