Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
