pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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