just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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