I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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