The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
