I think my vagina is haunted
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
